Positive Life Events and Loss

“Every great loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this. The pain we have not grieved over will always stand between us and life.” Rachel Naomi Remen

We usually associate loss with negative events. Did you know that it’s possible to feel loss with positive life events as well?

Sarah had been married for a few months when she scheduled a meeting with her therapist to figure out why she was feeling sad and upset. After a little introspection she realized that she was missing the total independence she had experienced while single. Sarah was able to articulate how important this aspect of her life had been, despite her happiness at being married to her husband. She now had the tools to mourn what she was leaving behind and embrace her new identity as a married woman.

Every loss involves change. Most people are familiar with the loss inherent in death, divorce, or illness. But in reality, loss happens any time that change occurs, even “good” changes. Whatever is left behind in the change of life circumstances is experienced as a loss and may be accompanied by feelings of sadness, pain, or anger. However, because this is a result of a positive life event, the feelings of loss are often not acknowledged due to guilt or social pressure.

What happens when loss is felt but not acknowledged? These feelings that have been pushed away lie low in our psyche, waiting for the opportunity to burst out, sort of like a closed jack-in-the-box. Chances are that the feelings will break loose again, either after another loss, or when it becomes too difficult to hold them in. Our feelings are a channel for the energy within us. Blocking our feelings from being experienced blocks our energy and holds us back from moving forward.

Self Esteem

“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

Self esteem… you’ve heard of it before. Some of us throw around the term carelessly, others wonder what it is. In psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person's overall sense of self-worth or personal value.

Imagine for a moment that you are cradling a newborn in your arms. She sleeps peacefully, soft, innocent, pure. Is it possible to set a value for this child? No. We would all agree that this infant has immeasurable value.

No one can ruin that. The child will grow and change, but her value remains too great to measure. You too were that infant. The precious part inside of you that directs your mission on earth, your soul, neshama, has a value that is immeasurable. Value yourself for your internal worth as a human being, just for being, and find self esteem.

The topic of self esteem is infinitely more complex than this small example, but the bottom line is that having self esteem is important for you to function optimally. Are you wondering, or maybe worrying, “Do I have self esteem?”

Try this: Click on the link below to take an online version of the Rosenberg Self Esteem Scale:

 http://personality-testing.info/tests/RSE.php

Why Choose Art Therapy?

“How can art therapy help me?”
"How does it work?"

Some people mistakenly assume that art therapy is only for children. While art therapy can be a great choice for your child, it can also help adults, teenagers, and many special needs populations with a variety of challenges and experiences.

Art therapists are trained in counseling plus the use of art to promote self-expression and healing. I use art as a tool to achieve the same goals as traditional therapy, and we use a lot of talk therapy too. Here are some unique advantages that art adds to the therapy:
1. The creative process engages the whole brain which enhances focus
2. Doing art can provide an immediate physical and emotional release
3. Exploring your artwork with an art therapist can give you a new perspective
4. Art connects to the unconscious and assists in the expression of non-verbal experiences
5. Learning to do art can be a creative coping tool

One client commented on her process below:

"Coming to art therapy gives me a chance to organize my thoughts and get much more clarity. As I start working on an art project, usually related to the challenges in my life, my mind focuses on the task, and I start to make decisions about how I want the project to look. As I do that, it's like a parallel part of my brain is thinking about my life, based on my art project. A lot of the time I'm surprised at where the art takes me.

Let me give you an example. One day I was feeling like a terrible mother. I started building a sculpture of my home out of clay, and I made a room in the back for my oldest son, who has severe anger outbursts that threaten the entire family. I put a thick door on the room and a lock from the outside. In my mind I locked the door and felt a strong sense of relief. Now that his door was locked, I could focus on my other children, something I hadn't been able to do, and figure out what they needed from me. This was a huge breakthrought for me." - Evelyn, 43 (names and details have been changed to protect privacy)

This anecdote shows how Evelyn used art to focus on what was happening in her life. Working with the art materials and observing her creation helped her be more objective. The artwork that she did provided an important emotional release and gave her the ability to move forward in her therapy goals.

 

My commission is finished!

 

Here is the finished product - 70 x 100 cm, acrylic on canvas. I love it. If you'd like to commission one for yourself, just message me!



I've Been Commissioned...

to do a painting for a friend. It's exciting because the canvas is larger than I've ever done - 70 x 100 cm! I'll post a picture when it's done....