Let Your Imagination Do the Work!

“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding.  Hold this picture tenaciously and never permit it to fade.  Your mind will seek to develop this picture!”  ~ Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

I learnt about visualization from Jack Canfield, the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, in his book The Success Principles. Canfield emphasizes the power of positive visualization in achieving your goals. Visualization is the process of vividly imagining a situation as if it were happening right now. When you do this, you are propelled closer to the imagined reality. Visualization can make your dreams come true. How?

When you actively imagine yourself living your dream life and having achieved your goals, your subconscious is activated, harnessing your innate creativity. Your brain focuses on solutions that you may not have noticed. Then, you are drawn the people, resources and opportunities that can make it happen. Amazing things start to happen.

This sounds unbelievable. Yet, visualization is used by Olympic gold medalists, athletes, and CEO’s of multi-million dollar corporations, and they say it works!

You can practice visualization on your own to make your dreams come true sooner. Here’s how:

Go to a quiet place and make yourself comfortable. Think about something that you want in your life. Close your eyes, and imagine that you’ve got it, it has happened. Let yourself mentally visualize what it feels like to have what you want. Imagine the scene in vivid detail. Where are you? Who are you with? What activity are you engaged in? How do you feel? What do you see, smell, and hear? Spend a few more minutes with your eyes closed, being in this visualization. When you are done, write it down in as much detail as you can remember. To make this even more powerful, do this mental exercise for 5 minutes every day this week. 

How To Rewire your Brain

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ― Abraham Lincoln

Are you having a good day?

If you’ve been looking at the bright side today, you’ll probably say yes. That’s because your brain is wired to perceive the good when you are optimistic. If you’ve been complaining, you might just shake your head.

Your brain is busy all day, processing thousands of thoughts. Many of these are the same thoughts as yesterday and the day before, since your brain largely operates out of habit. Which of your habitual responses to life are positive? Which are negative?

Why is this important? Well, your thoughts have a tremendous influence on your feelings, mood, and behavior. The good news is that if you change your thoughts, your feelings, mood, and behavior will change accordingly. Studies have shown that by consciously creating new thought patterns, you can change your brain! Here’s how you can create a new thought response:

1.       Next time you feel bad, identity the feeling (anger, sadness, frustration, etc.)

2.       Notice your thoughts. Identify the phrases, words, or comments running through your mind.

3.       What triggered those thoughts?

4.       Create a alternative positive thought to replace the negative (see below for ideas)

5.       Force yourself to think the positive thought by repeating it over and over again (in your head or verbally)

Here are some common negative thoughts and positive replacements:

Negative Thought                                            Positive Thought

“Why does he do this to me?”                       “I can handle this.”

“This is so difficult, I can’t stand it!”              “I can do this”

“I’m a failure.”                                               “I’m okay.”

“I’m so stupid.”                                              “I’m intelligent.”

You have just begun actively reprogramming your brain! At first, you might feel false. It takes time to convince the brain to drop long-held negative beliefs. Be persistent and try this for a few days. Let me know how it goes!

Our Painful Task - To Grieve for Our Boys

It is heartrending to hear such tragic news. Last night, my reaction to the murder of Gilad, Eyal, and Naftali, H”YD was to cry. Today, I cannot forget, and the memory of these innocent victims of terror weighs heavy on my consciousness.

What are we supposed to do? How can we absorb such a loss?

Imagine a trapeze artist in the circus. He lets go of the trapeze to perform his routine, but he will always return to the trapeze (or fall). This is a metaphor for our job in grieving – to learn how to hold on to the memory and at the same time let go of the unbearable pain. This takes a lot of time.

Your initial reaction to loss might be pain, sadness, anger, numbness or denial. Whatever your reaction, there are some concrete steps that you can take to process what has happened.

Release your feelings: Tune in to what you are feeling. This may be obvious, or you might need to stop and spend some time with yourself. When you are tuned in, release your feelings in one of the following ways:

• Talk about it to yourself or to others
• Write it down, without censoring what come out
• Draw or paint or collage a representation of how you feel
• Compose a song or music
• Write a poem

Reach out for support: Choose someone who will be able to listen to you. Tell them “I need to talk about this.” Give a hug or ask for one. Reach out to your people, whether in person, by phone, or your social network.

Formulate a personal meaning from the tragedy: Many strong individuals and families have created meaning from their loss, transforming tragedy into inspiration. Whether using the tragedy to reach out and help others in similar circumstances or looking for spiritual answers, creating meaning is an essential task in grieving a loss.

Finally, I remember a quote by Rachel Naomi Remen: “Every great loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this. The pain we have not grieved over will always stand between us and life.”

Let us choose life.

Mindfulness and Self-Care

"Start living right here, in each present moment. When we stop dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, we're open to rich sources of information we've been missing out on—information that can keep us out of the downward spiral and poised for a richer life.” ― Mark Williams

Here’s my dilemma:

As a therapist, I value and teach self-care. However, as a busy mom, I can’t seem to find enough time in the day! How do I take care of my emotional needs, when there isn’t time to take a break or indulge in a fun hobby?

So, here’s what I did. I created the intention, a mental focus, to get maximum nurture out of what I’m already doing. How? By practicing mindfulness.  

Mindfulness is living with awareness. Mindfulness is being present in your own life in the moment. Amazing research has shown that engaging in mindfulness can improve health, reduce stress and increase happiness.

Here’s a mindfulness exercise that I learned from Dr. Dina Wyshogrod, founder of the Israel Center for Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (http://www.mbsrisrael.org) .  It has helped me focus on what is going on inside me when I feel overwhelmed, anxious, or anytime really. This exercise uses the acronym of STOP:

S-Stop what you are doing

T-Take a breath

O-Observe your thoughts, feelings, and sensations (for a couple of minutes)

P-Proceed (continue with what you were doing previously)

When you proceed, you are armed with awareness, with all the information that you picked up while you were observing yourself.   For me, that has made a huge difference in connecting to my body, my thoughts, and emotions. Once I’m connected, I usually make better decisions for myself.

You can try this out! Let me know what it’s like for you.

Summer Workshops

“Self-Exploration Thru Art”

Early Registration is Open for Summer Workshop!

Join the women who have already connected to their inner voice by attending an innovative 8-week workshop, using art therapy techniques to explore your identity.

Facilitator: Miriam Duskis, MA, Art Therapist

Workshop dates: Sundays, July 13 – August 31.

Located at The Place - The Jerusalem Centre for Emotional Wellbeing. Group size is limited, fully confidential, and no previous art experience is necessary.

Cost is 600* nis, including supplies.

*Register by June 15, 2014 for the early bird price of 570 nis!

For more information, call Miriam at 052-711-5224 or email miriamduskis@gmail.com

To register online: http://miriamduskis.blogspot.co.il/p/workshop-registration.html

Art Workzone: Art Therapy Helps, Heals, and Inspires Hope

New Workshops!

Registration is now open for new workshops beginning after Pesach!

Self Exploration Thru Art

8-Week Intensive Workshop

 
In this hands-on workshop, you will:

·         Explore the topic of identity through art activities and focused discussion. 

·         Examine your core beliefs and create goals for self-growth.

·         Discover what is right and wonderful about you.

Group size is limited, fully confidential and no previous art experience necessary. Weekly 2-hour sessions. Open to new members and past participants.

Facilitator: Miriam Duskis, M.A., Art Therapist

Workshop begins after Pesach 2014 at The Place – The Jerusalem Centre for Emotional Wellbeing. Cost is 480 nis, all supplies included.

For more information and to register, please call Miriam at 052-711-5224 or email miriamduskis@gmail.com.

What is your earliest memory?

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.”
― L.M. Montgomery, The Story Girl

Most of us can recall something from age 3 1/2, although the exact age varies.  That’s roughly the age that the memory banks of the brain are mature enough to begin storing memories. For some, the earliest memory seems insignificant. For others, it is a recollection of an emotionally charged or traumatic experience.

What is your earliest memory?

How old were you?

Most people have a memory gap from infancy – age 3. We now know that despite lack of memory, these years are crucial to who we are and how we feel today.

If you were adopted as an infant, you surely don’t remember what that felt like. Nonetheless, experiences in infancy have a strong effect on personality and behavior. If you were adopted, and are experiencing emotional challenges, there might be a connection. 

Recently, there’s been a lot of media attention on an adoption case in Israel. Two years after an infant boy was placed for adoption, his maternal aunt requested a reversal of the adoption. Initially, the court agreed. Subsequently, the case went to the Supreme Court who ruled in favor of the adoptive parents.

This story is complicated, and reminds me of plant cuttings, a metaphor that I sometimes use to explain adoption challenges. Let me explain…   A cutting is a branch or stem that is cut off from an existing plant, placed in water or earth, and coached into growing new roots. This process of growing new roots from a cutting can take weeks or months and requires lots of care, in contrast to planting a regular seed.

Why am I mentioning this? Well, when someone is adopted, they have been cut off from their roots. Just like a cutting in nature, this child will require lots more care to grow and thrive.

In a survey of adult adoptees called “281 voices” (www.heartofthematterseminars.com), participants were asked “During childhood, how challenging was your sense of loss related to adoption?”

The responses were:

21% - Significantly challenging

18% - Moderately challenging

24% - Mildly challenging

37% - Not a challenge

In my private therapy practice in Jerusalem, I specialize in adoption issues for children and adults.

Art Therapy and PTSD

"Art can permeate the very deepest part of us, where no words exist." - Eileen Miller

Recent research has shown that art therapy effectively helps people suffering from trauma and can reduce the symptoms of PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Here is a short neuroscientific explanation of why this is so.

Human experience is stored in memory banks located on both sides of the brain. The left hemisphere of the brain stores explicit memories, which are consciously remembered and can be described in words. An example of an explicit memory is the kind of sandwich that you ate for lunch. The right hemisphere of the brain stores implicit memories, which are unconscious, sensory, and automatic. Reading, typing, or playing music are examples of implicit memories. You don't have to think about how to type, or remember the letters on the keyboard. It's automatic.

Trauma occurs when a person is faced with a perceived or actual threat to their existance. Because this is so overwhelming and frightening, people disconnect their mind from the experience as it is occuring, in order to survive.

As a result of this disconnection, the left brain shuts down and the trauma memory is stored on the right side of the brain. This doesn't mean that the memory is necessarily unconscious. What is does mean is that when memories of the trauma pop up, often sparked by sensory triggers, they are re-experienced with the same intensity and with the same disconnection as during the trauma, causing many of the symptoms of PTSD.

 

In order to work on the trauma in therapy, the memory must be accessed in the right brain and engaged in the left brain. In contrast to verbal therapy, art therapy engages both sides of the brain at the same time. As a result, the trauma memory can be accessed in the right hemisphere without shutting down the verbal part of the brain, and it can be gently discussed and processed.