Motivation Matrix Model by Dr. Jim Taylor

What Change Would You Make?

"The starting point of all achievement is desire." --Napoleon Hill

Old habits die hard, right? It’s easy to stick to the status quo, to resist change.

Change is the process of moving to a new and different state of things. Change is your capacity to learn and integrate new information.

Because opportunities for change bring up uncertainty, you might find that change makes you anxious. That’s pretty normal. Don’t let that stop you, though. Instead, think of what would motivate you to change.

Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself:

1. What is it that you want to change? (Identify the direction that you want to take)

2. Why is this important for you? (The more you believe you will benefit, the easier it is to do the work)

3. What will motivate you to make the change? (The more motivated you are, the more you will succeed)

4. How is your behavior showing your resistance to this change? (Are you making excuses, complaining about it, worrying, or ignoring the need for change)

5. What step(s) can you take to start in the direction of this change?

Click on the link to see Dr. Jim Taylor Motivation Matrix model, which explains how your source of motivation will affect the outcome of your actions. It's a really interesting chart.

Perhaps there is nothing in your life that you’d like to change. In that case, I challenge you to learn something new. I just finished reading “Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” by Betty Edwards (click below to purchase on Amazon). This excellent book can teach you how to draw, no matter your level of skill or talent.

What do you want to learn or change today?

You in 10 Years - A Survey to Get You Thinking

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New Year, So What?

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years” – Abraham Lincoln

Ready or not, 2015 is here.

In the past week, you might have heard family or friends enthusiastically share their New Year’s resolutions.

If making resolutions doesn’t sound exciting to you, you are not alone. Many people find it downright difficult to create new resolutions when they’ve done so many times and they’re still not perfect! Other people are overwhelmed by the challenge of figuring out what and how to change, or find life too busy to think about the future.

Here are two short writing exercises that can clarify for you what you want in your life, and shift your focus from short-term goals to long term ambitions. Let your resolution this year be to find out who you want to be.

1. Imagine yourself in the distant future – say 20 or 30 years from now. See yourself at that time living the way you want to live. What do you look like? What do you feel like? How do you describe yourself? Where do you live? Is anyone with you? What does your spiritual life look like? What is your financial situation? How do you spend your time? Take out a pen and paper after you’ve done some daydreaming and write it all down, with lots of detail!

2. Write your bucket list - A bucket list is a list of all the things you want to do in your lifetime. Block out 15 – 30 minutes to start your list and challenge yourself to think of 100 items! For ideas, take a look at www.bucketlist.org.

When I wrote my first bucket list, I surprised myself when I let my imagination take off. I was even more surprised when I crossed some items off in the next few years – and learned the lesson that if you dream it, you might just achieve it!

Let Your Imagination Do the Work!

“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding.  Hold this picture tenaciously and never permit it to fade.  Your mind will seek to develop this picture!”  ~ Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

I learnt about visualization from Jack Canfield, the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, in his book The Success Principles. Canfield emphasizes the power of positive visualization in achieving your goals. Visualization is the process of vividly imagining a situation as if it were happening right now. When you do this, you are propelled closer to the imagined reality. Visualization can make your dreams come true. How?

When you actively imagine yourself living your dream life and having achieved your goals, your subconscious is activated, harnessing your innate creativity. Your brain focuses on solutions that you may not have noticed. Then, you are drawn the people, resources and opportunities that can make it happen. Amazing things start to happen.

This sounds unbelievable. Yet, visualization is used by Olympic gold medalists, athletes, and CEO’s of multi-million dollar corporations, and they say it works!

You can practice visualization on your own to make your dreams come true sooner. Here’s how:

Go to a quiet place and make yourself comfortable. Think about something that you want in your life. Close your eyes, and imagine that you’ve got it, it has happened. Let yourself mentally visualize what it feels like to have what you want. Imagine the scene in vivid detail. Where are you? Who are you with? What activity are you engaged in? How do you feel? What do you see, smell, and hear? Spend a few more minutes with your eyes closed, being in this visualization. When you are done, write it down in as much detail as you can remember. To make this even more powerful, do this mental exercise for 5 minutes every day this week. 

How To Rewire your Brain

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ― Abraham Lincoln

Are you having a good day?

If you’ve been looking at the bright side today, you’ll probably say yes. That’s because your brain is wired to perceive the good when you are optimistic. If you’ve been complaining, you might just shake your head.

Your brain is busy all day, processing thousands of thoughts. Many of these are the same thoughts as yesterday and the day before, since your brain largely operates out of habit. Which of your habitual responses to life are positive? Which are negative?

Why is this important? Well, your thoughts have a tremendous influence on your feelings, mood, and behavior. The good news is that if you change your thoughts, your feelings, mood, and behavior will change accordingly. Studies have shown that by consciously creating new thought patterns, you can change your brain! Here’s how you can create a new thought response:

1.       Next time you feel bad, identity the feeling (anger, sadness, frustration, etc.)

2.       Notice your thoughts. Identify the phrases, words, or comments running through your mind.

3.       What triggered those thoughts?

4.       Create a alternative positive thought to replace the negative (see below for ideas)

5.       Force yourself to think the positive thought by repeating it over and over again (in your head or verbally)

Here are some common negative thoughts and positive replacements:

Negative Thought                                            Positive Thought

“Why does he do this to me?”                       “I can handle this.”

“This is so difficult, I can’t stand it!”              “I can do this”

“I’m a failure.”                                               “I’m okay.”

“I’m so stupid.”                                              “I’m intelligent.”

You have just begun actively reprogramming your brain! At first, you might feel false. It takes time to convince the brain to drop long-held negative beliefs. Be persistent and try this for a few days. Let me know how it goes!

Our Painful Task - To Grieve for Our Boys

It is heartrending to hear such tragic news. Last night, my reaction to the murder of Gilad, Eyal, and Naftali, H”YD was to cry. Today, I cannot forget, and the memory of these innocent victims of terror weighs heavy on my consciousness.

What are we supposed to do? How can we absorb such a loss?

Imagine a trapeze artist in the circus. He lets go of the trapeze to perform his routine, but he will always return to the trapeze (or fall). This is a metaphor for our job in grieving – to learn how to hold on to the memory and at the same time let go of the unbearable pain. This takes a lot of time.

Your initial reaction to loss might be pain, sadness, anger, numbness or denial. Whatever your reaction, there are some concrete steps that you can take to process what has happened.

Release your feelings: Tune in to what you are feeling. This may be obvious, or you might need to stop and spend some time with yourself. When you are tuned in, release your feelings in one of the following ways:

• Talk about it to yourself or to others
• Write it down, without censoring what come out
• Draw or paint or collage a representation of how you feel
• Compose a song or music
• Write a poem

Reach out for support: Choose someone who will be able to listen to you. Tell them “I need to talk about this.” Give a hug or ask for one. Reach out to your people, whether in person, by phone, or your social network.

Formulate a personal meaning from the tragedy: Many strong individuals and families have created meaning from their loss, transforming tragedy into inspiration. Whether using the tragedy to reach out and help others in similar circumstances or looking for spiritual answers, creating meaning is an essential task in grieving a loss.

Finally, I remember a quote by Rachel Naomi Remen: “Every great loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this. The pain we have not grieved over will always stand between us and life.”

Let us choose life.